Saturday, August 18, 2007

Series: Comedy as it relates to Sex (Part 1 of ?)


Hello, comedy fans! I'm sure you've been hoping for an infectious office forward--one you can pass around the office and laugh it up around the water cooler. So here it is! Have fun with it! Enjoy the weekend!

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So far in my pursuit to achieve the highest honor in comedy-dom, I have found elements of comedy that echo and perhaps even mimic characteristics of sex. Wanna see? Here are my findings:

1) The late night booty call...

You're settled at home and of course the phone rings from the needy, beer-goggled friend with benefits. What is the benefit? This friend happens to be a very well-connected comedy buddy, who has an available spot on a show. The show needs you! They're begging for you!

Who's going to turn that down?

You're a comedian. You're goal is to get on stage as many times as possible. Still fuzzy on the connection? Re-Read the second sentence of this paragraph and instead insert the word "human" where "comedian" is, and insert "get some," where "on stage" is.

It's like day-old pizza--even when it's bad, it's still good.

Here's a funny anecdote:
To recount my experience with "the late night booty call," I got a call from a friend around 9:30pm at night. He said he had a spot for me on his stage show and that I had to get there lickety-split.

That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten. --The Wolf

My mother likes to make the "unexpected" expected phone call to me at night. For two reasons: 1) To keep tabs on me as mother's always do 2) And because it's not-so unexpected because she's cheap. Wait, no. She likes to explain it as "economical," thereby taking advantage of free minutes after 9pm.

So when I didn't promptly answer after two rings, my mother, expecting me to be home, called the next day asking where I could possibly be so late at night. I was tight lipped about it. And she naturally assumed that I was out whoring myself to my non-existent/fictitious New York city boytoys.

You: Lucy, why not just tell her you're doing comedy?

Me: My goal with comedy is to keep it under wraps, until I can no longer keep it under wraps. For example: An appearance on David Letterman would prove very difficult to keep it under the lid.

So until then, I will answer my mother by saying, "Yes, I am running around NYC answering late night sex calls, a service I provide for those who have urgent sexual need." Imagine her surprise when she catches me on the Tonight Show, introduced by whoever replaces Leno--will it be, Conan?


2) Comedy can be a bit of a tease...

Sometimes you're not sure when you're going to "get some" from comedy. Sometimes you go into the club, thinking "This is going to be a surefire laugh riot. It's in the bag!" You know you went through all the steps:

i. You sweat over the jokes by writing and rewriting them.
ii. You then performed all over the city at various clubs every night over the next 6 months.
iii. You crafted. You honed. You worked out all the kinks.
iv. You studied structure, cadence, inflection, and timing.

And the final step...

v. You executed.

So the Big Night ensues. And this night, in particular, is special. Why? There are talent agents, managers, producers in the audience at this most exclusive comedy venue. (I know. I know. Exclusive? It sounds corny, but just go with me on this one.)

By now, you should have full control of your "performance" right? Because you've practiced, prepared, premeditated every single move.

Cardinal Rule: No two shows are ever the same.

Just remember the 5:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. -PCU

But even with all that preparation, you receive dismal results. What happened?!?!

My point is you can take comedy out for dinner, buy it an expensive gift, make it feel real special. And by the end of the night, you're left at the stoop wondering if your breath smelled or your pits were offensive. Where did you go wrong?

Would you like more comedy and sex, Part 2?

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14 comments:

Steve said...

An obvious analogy: whenever I have sex it's always laughable...

Thank you so much for the support by the way - much appreciated!

Sidhusaaheb said...

I may be wrong, but it does seem to me that comedians resort to sexual innuendo when they run out of inspiration.

SassyAssy said...

hmmm the comedy booty call...sounds like you have a nice tale to tell from the stage with this story.

I have nominated you for a meme...see my blog for details.

Bone said...

No two girls are the same. And some just do not laugh. Period. That's what I have learned :)

Always enjoy reading your posts, Lucy.

Lucy said...

Steve - A friend in need is a friend indeed. No problem-o, Steve-o.

Sidhusaaheb - Guilty..as..charged. The premise for this post stemmed from reality. My mother really did think I went out for "some sex," as she put it. So I guess, I should ask you, does art imitate life or does life imitate art? It seemed like a gift from the comedy gods. And who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

SassyAssy - I'm honored with the meme request, but I must respectfully decline. I know I will upset the blogger gods, but I have to take my chances. (I know declining a meme is bad for blogger PR.) So, sorry. I'll promise I'll make it up to you.

bone - Thanks, bone! Your comment means a lot. I really put a lot of effort into this series, including ample amounts of blood, sweat, and tears. I was worried about whether it would resonate with my readers. Your comment proves it has. Thank you, again!

Pod said...

thanks for your comments over at podville!

Dazza said...

Hang on a mo... do you always have sex in public places in front of a paying audience? Or am I taking this too literally...? It's a commom fault I have. Still being a bit of an exhibitionist would probably be a useful trait for any performer.

Thanks for stopping by,

Dxx

boneman said...

(I agree with you about the comedic genious of Eddie, by the way, and not just because he relates so well to audiences here....not an easy thing to do dressed as he is)

About sex...and, I suppose, relationships.
I don't know why I'm so afraid of starting a new relationship.
Sure, my two ex-wives cut out my heart and lungs, but...
I've a lot more organs left!
And some of them are the good ones!

RAFFI said...

i can compare anything to sex (ie. sardines, standardized testing, pubic hair, rainbows, soul-glo, michael jackson, big bird, monkey wrench, etc.). it's all about timing and inflection... i mean climbing and injection.

Crashtest Comic said...

I agree with you about comedy being alot like sex--

maybe not SEX IN THE CITY...

more like a handjob in Poughkeepsie.

Alan the Great said...

I seem to have found a completely new (to me) blogging network, as well as laughing my ass off.

As soon as I can recover my wayword rectum, may I link to you?

Alan the Great said...

wayWARD! Dammit...

Melissa said...

I love that you'd rather your mother believe you were out whoring it up than performing comedy! I totally get it -- sex is ridiculous, but comedy is some serious s!@t. Good luck!

writeitoutplease said...

That is quite the insight. And I feel the same way: If I were pursuing the big time, I would keep it under wraps as much as I could as well.