Interview with Comedian and Blogger: Brian Mollica

While in Vegas, I got a chance to meet up with Mr. Brian Mollica, who is a 10 year vet in the comedy scene--and he's only 29, folks! He was generous to donate his time and indulge me with my adolescent comedy questions. I have a bit of the interview scattered throughout today's post. I will try and learn FTP so that it's a little more user-friendly. Until then, enjoy!!!

Quest: So comedy, in general, how did you get started? How did that crazy idea enter your head?

Brian: I've been obsessed with comedy for a really long time. It's true. When I was a kid, my grandma had cable, we didn't have cable. My grandmother had cable. It was coming up during sort of the comedy boom in the 80s, where there were literally, I mean, for 24 hours there was comedy on somewhere. And I don't know something about it just really took to me. And I would watch from about five years old. I just watched it constantly. When I figured out that it was a job, that's when I really wanted to do it.

Quest: And that was what age?

Brian: That was probably around 6 or 7. I mean, I was the shyest kid ever and really nervous about doin' that sort of thing. So I guess I never really thought that I would.

And then when I was 17 in high school, I knew a guy who was working at the comedy club in Tucson [Arizona], where I was growing up. He was just workin' the door. And I don't know, he was having problems with his grades and he needed someone to pick up two nights during the week. So I did. I picked up two nights during the week. And I mean, it paid almost literally nothing. For two weeks, my paycheck was thirty dollars. That's what I was taking home. But I got to watch all the shows for free. And I did. And I watched every single night that I could, I would watch the show.

I just got so into that I finally probably about a year and a half, after I started, about 19, I started doing a couple open mics and it went, it went really well. And it sorta when from there.

Quest: Can I ask your age now?

Brian: I'm 29.

It probably didn't get serious until I was about 21. I did some open mics then I did some guest spots and some hosting. And then when I was about 21, I started taking opening jobs and going out on the road, while I was finishing up college.

Quest: Going out on the road?

Brian: You know, just local SouthWest stuff: New Mexico, Texas...

Quest: That's still a lot of experience at such a young age.

Brian: Yeah, no it was. It was good. It was good and bad, sometimes I think about it. It's great that you start young just because I got... I got a lot of attention first of all because I was young and I look even younger. I really did look like I was about 14 years old when I started, so you kinda get a little extra attention when you look like that. But at the same time, comedy is one of those things that if you go too fast you can kinda burnout. And there was definitely sometimes where, that's why I sort of weaned away from the road recently. It's just not really... It's not really what I wanted to do anymore, work the road.

Quest: I heard roadgigs are good pay-wise.

Brian: Can be. Yeah, can be, absolutely. It's the whole spectrum. The road, that's one of the big problems with the road too, is the money has sort of been the same. In the 8 years I've been workin', as far as the club circuit, the money is pretty much the same in eight years, which is insan--it's ridiculous! It costs me more to get there and to eat and everything else. Everything else is the same.

You can get good gigs on the road. You know, a lot of the Casino's I've worked pay well. You get corporate stuff. So yeah, there's money to be made out there. And if I, I always say, you know, as far as my career goes, if I was going to be a fulltime comic, I would have to be a road comic. And, yeah, it's just sort of not... I did it for two years and it was great. Nawh. Now I'm kinda done with it.

Quest: So now you want to focus on...?

Brian: Now it's more trying to set up something for me. The road in and of itself, I think, is dying a little bit. And that's sad, at least with the club scene. If you're a bigger name and you can pack a theatre, you can make tons of money. But I know I'm not there and I probably can't get there. For a club comic, a road club comic, I mean that's just. I think that's going to dry up really soon. So I want to start focusing more on local comedy. And maybe start bringing a package of comedy out to places. You know it's easier to book yourself as a comedy show so you sort of solicit rooms. You don't necessarily have to contact clubs anymore. You can go to colleges and say, "I do this Las Vegas comedy show." You know something along those lines. That's kinda where I am right now sort of trying to produce something a little bit more unique and get away from sort of the cookie cutter club industry that's not doing so hot.

Quest: Interesting. And what have seen throughout the years with regards to relationships with managers, bookers...

Brian: Absolutely. I think the biggest thing is and this is one of the things I try to do a lot on Behind The Bricks is... you have to understand that at some point it's not just writing jokes that make people laugh and gettin' the nerve to go up on stage. So much is focused on that and everybody thinks that's what you have to do to be a great comic. That is two percent of it.

Quest: Wow! So talent?

Brian: Yeah talent, I mean, please. And I'm sure if you're a comedy fan you've seen people either on TV, or big names. And you're just like, "They're just not that funny." Talent is a part of it. And a small part of it, unfortunately. I've hung out in small comedy clubs for ten years. And the funniest people I've ever see in my life have never been on TV and probably won't ever get a deal. It's just the way it goes. So much of it is marketing yourself. And trying to get set up with the right people. And luck is a huge part of it. You have to keep in mind that... there's a business aspect of it. And the business aspect is more important in a lot of ways than the comedy aspect.

A lot of the people in comedy now hate Dane Cook. Everybody hates Dane Cook.

Quest: Wait! Let me get this on tape.

Brian: Every comic you talk to hates Dane Cook. And regardless of whether you think he's funny or not they hate him because he's Mega-famous. As a comic, it's hard to actually become famous as a stand-up comic, not a lot of people have, you know, maybe oh they got TV--anhhn-yaa! now they have a good comedy career. But he became famous as a comic. And the reason why is because he marketed himself in the most unbelievably brilliant ways. I mean, any avenue that he could, he put his name out there. And he had a following. And by the time he already was on TV, he had a huge following. People look at this Comedy Central special that he had 6-7years ago and from that he's a full-fledged movie star now. And there's a lot jealousy there. Regardless of whether or not you like his comedy, I don't understand how you can't respect a guy that's done that.

Quest: Exactly. I agree. I agree. He was purely a businessman in that sense. And I think a lot of people don't--not a lot of comedians want to invest in the time, I guess, in having to market themselves and having to package themselves.

Brian: There's this idea that, "I'm an artist. That's what I'm here for. I write jokes and I make people laugh." And that's great if you have some sort of really aggressive management team. Or an agency. Then yeah, you can afford to just be an artist. But I mean, I've been with two different agencies. And even when you're with an agency, you still gotta get out there and you still gotta market yourself because they can only do so much for you.

Quest: You have two blogs. (one comedy, one sports show) Please explain the sports show.

Brian: It was kind of a weird thing. I used to do a poker show. That was the first time I ever got involved in any podcast or internet radio. And I only took it because I really wanted to get into radio. And I had interned a little bit in New York and I wasn't really happy with my experience. So I kinda wanted to do my own thing and this seemed like, you know, It was the only place that was offering my anything. So I took it even though I wasn't all that into poker. It just sort of morphed into more of a radio show. And then had a little bit of stuff mixed in. And people were kind of into it. But it got to a point where I was completely unqualified to be talking about any of it.

So I wanted to get out and I met somebody. I got a part-time job when I moved out here. And I met a guy who was really into Sports and Sports betting. So we kinda just started talking and we came up with this idea to sort of a Vegas Sports show and it's morphed from there. It started off just once a week. And we're doing it three times a week now. And we've picked up a couple sponsors. So it's actually working out, okay.

To be continued...

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Interview with Blogger Buddy: Great White Snark, Part 2

Click on the hyperlink if you missed out on Part 1 of this geeky interview.

Quest: How do conferences play a role in your life? Is this a lifestyle?
- WonderCon
- Comic-Con International 2007
- Alternative Press Expo
- Maker Faire 2006

Mr. Snark: Geeks don't have conferences, they have conventions. And they're my best opportunity to geek out and gather blog fodder.

And, yes, conventions do involve a "lifestyle." Specifically, a costume culture. But the only time you'll ever see me dressed up as Wolverine or as a Klingon will be on the losing side of a drunken bet.

Quest: Why do you know so much about Finland?

Mr. Snark: Easy. I have exactly one Finnish friend. And everything he doesn't tell me, I make up. That adds up to a lot of information. For instance, did you know that Finland was once the biggest exporter of ketchup?

Quest: No. I didn't. (pause) Even in your relative geekdom you do spring upon some relatively hip blogs like BoingBoing, YesbutNobutYes blog, and TMZ.com. Would you say you're keeping finger on the pulse of celebrity and hipness as well as geekdom?

Mr. Snark: Being a geek and being hip are not mutually exclusive. I think you're mistaking me for a nerd.

Quest: Don't Geeks forgo social lives as well? Aren't they equally anti-social?

Mr. Snark: Nope, common misconception. Some geeks are quite nerdy, but many are high-functioning, social beings who are not only devilishly handsome and intelligent, but also irreverently charming. But enough about me.

I don't follow celebrity news beyond what I need to make disparaging jokes about starlets with drug problems. 'Cause ragging on Paris Hilton is something everyone can get on board with.

Quest: I've noticed you speak about hipsters in your blog. Care to explain how they popped up in your geek/nerd radar?

Mr. Snark: Since I live in San Fransisco, it's hard not to run into hipsters. And then subsequently laugh and/or vomit. They're basically the next-easiest target after 1) Paris Hilton 2) Britney Spears and 3) anyone in the Bush Administration when I need a quick-and-dirty joke.

Quest: And you mention Patton Oswalt, a powerhouse comedian-- his explanation of hipsters (video)--in your blog. Any other comedian's that strike your fancy?

Mr. Snark: My fancy is struck by comedians on a pretty regular basis, although I'm pretty consistently a fan of the Comedians of Comedy: Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifianakis, Brian Posehn. And that was before I knew they were all comic book geeks. I think I must have a pretty refined geek-dar.

Quest: Who is Joss Whedon? Why are his entertainment-related pursuits so important to you?

Mr. Snark: Oh, dear. You really are naïve in the ways of geekiness, aren't you? Joss Whedon is best-known as the creator of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly. He is himself a big geek who has created a lot of happiness for geeks everywhere with his work.

He's like Jesus for geeks, but with less of the crucification and resurrection stuff. Similar humility, though.

Quest: You mention, "...Tuesday, August 21, was almost the fourth best day of my life. Right behind the days that I lost my virginity, got accepted to grad school, and maybe, possibly made eye contact for a brief second with Veronica Mars." Care to elaborate on the first three? (LOL)

Mr. Snark: 1) No, 2) self-explanatory, and 3) I have these two stalker-ish photos of Kristen Bell from a panel at Comic-Con where--if you squint in just the right way--it looks like she's checking me out. It's very exciting stuff.

Quest: What celebrities or Mini-celebrities or Mini-geek-celebrities have you run into in the blogosphere?

Mr. Snark: As the profile of the blog has grown, I've had the chance to meet some really cool folks from the geek domain. For instance, I have an upcoming interview with Stephen Lindsay, the dude who wrote the critically-acclaimed Jesus Hates Zombies graphic novel, which sold out its first print run in less than a week.

Quest: What's your astrological sign?
Mr. Snark: I'm a Virgo. Usually that's a pretty lame pick-up, but it's kind of working for you. Well done.

Where do you see this blog taking you? Do you foresee any long term goals in future Snarkdom?

Mr. Snark: Since there's very little hope for a snarky blog about geeky stuff getting me laid, I'll instead shoot for enough notoriety to land some sweet geek-celebrity interviews.

Quest: Thanks for doing this, Mr Great White Snark. Thank you for letting us usurp whatever time you had allocated to geek-out in exchange for this interview. Thank you for letting us peak into the world of all things geeky. We hope to see more coverage of geekdom in your blog.

And dear Quest reader, I encourage you to check out Great White Snark's blog for a fabulous story about his uncle, FedEX, and whale-watching--a truly unusual and compelling story.


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Interview with Blogger Buddy: Great White Snark, Part 1

In my casual trolling about the inter-web, I happened across yet another comical character (emphasis on "comic") who is a self-proclaimed Buffy the Vampire Slayer geek, a Star Wars geek, and a comic book geek. (Yes, he has the Batman tattoo to prove it, folks.) The blogger buddy I speak of is "Mr. Great White Snark" who keeps up a daily blog called ---wait for it--- Great White Snark. (You probably saw that one coming.)

And when I see someone this amazing and this geeky, I can't afford to miss out on the opportunity to decipher the madness that goes on in this geek ringleader's head. Luckily, Mr. Snark was a willing participant.


Quest: So, Great White, what is the inspiration for your blog?

Great White Snark: One part geeking out, and two parts desperately crying out for attention. With a sprinkling of firm belief that every red-blooded American should have access to my insights and opinions on geeky matters on a semi-daily basis.

Quest: What is the inspiration for how you came up with the name of your blog?

Great White Snark: A very clever friend of mine came up with it. I like that it's a play on words, but it's still literal. I just knew I wanted something with the word "snark" ...for obvious reasons. And it was better than "Great White Geeky Dry-Witted Jew."


Quest: Why did you feel the need to mention that you're jewish in that last response? Is it because of a need to relate that to your audience? Because going through your archives, I definitely did not detect any religious overtones in any of your posts, unless your consider Star Wars another religion.

Great White Snark: ...because I feel the need to make punchlines. The fact that I'm Jewish is quite beside the point. "Great White Geeky Dry-Witted Jew" sounds pretty funny to me. Of course, that farting sound that sixth graders make with their armpits also sounds funny to me, so... you be the judge.

I also take the Lord's name in vain quite a bit, but it's not because I personally have anything against the Man. Or... um, wo-Man. It's just that blasphemy is (a) second-nature to me and (b) gleefully fun when it's done right.

Quest: I guess, what I mean to ask is, I'm a black female stand-up comedian. But it's not obvious in my writing. I don't rail on and on about being black. But I don't hide from it either. In a couple of posts, I do mention it because it relates to my experience as a comedian and as a female, so thereby very necessary in my blog.

But your blog is just for fun, right? And built out of a pop culture (nowhere near political). Nor do I see any mention of Judaism in your blog. So why mention it now? In the blogosphere, you get the added benefit of choosing what degree of anonymity one wants. But by answering your question like that, it surely casts a different light, an issue you were hoping to shed some light on, it seems.

Great White Snark: Now look what you've done. I can't very well be flippant in my response to a question like that, now can I? Way to take me out of my comfort zone. (Sigh.)

Quest: That's my job. No comfort zone is safe with me.

Great White Snark: As you know, any creative expression is more interesting when the author reveals a bit of him, or herself, in the work. (And now I've gone and implied that blogging is some form of High Art. Look at me! I'm an artiste with an "e" on the end!) Whether we're talking about stand-up, or writing, or pottery... no, wait. Pottery is a bad example. If you think you can reveal a part of yourself in pottery, then someone has been hitting you over the head with a hippie stick for too long.

So, yes, I do reveal parts of myself in my writing, because it's more fun for me to write that way... and it makes my writing more fun for my readers. Especially when my dating life comes up. Oh, the guffaws.

Quest: All right, I'll take that. Let's get back to the softball questions: Where are you blogging out of?

Great White Snark: San Francisco. Home of the free, land of the brave, and hovel to the soft, round, and furry. Aging hippies, that is.

Quest: However, you're originally from D.C.?

GWS: I'm actually from the Virginia suburbs outside of DC, but if I say I'm from Virginia, four out of five people would assume that I'm Southern. And we wouldn't want that, would we? I haven't had incestuous intercourse with a cousin for at least seven or eight years, now.

If you're wondering what gives me license to rag on Southerners, it's the 10+ years I spent in Atlanta and Tampa. Fair warning to anyone considering an extended stay in Trampa: You can never get that time back.

Quest: How long have you been blogging for?

GWS: Since March of this year. Which is approximately twice the average tenure of most bloggers, which basically makes me a village elder. So watch it with the backtalk, missy.

Quest: So you've designated yourself a humor blog, officially? Why? What do you think makes your blog humorous?

GWS: My blog is about geeks and geeky stuff like Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, comic books, zombies, and other goodness. Given the subject matter, half the jokes practically write themselves.

Quest: You state in your blog that you plan on blogging about "forthcoming mental vomit about comic books and related geekery..." Does that in essence, make you an expert geek? Do you profess that you're a geek?

GWS: Wow, way to go back in the archives.

Quest: Clearly, you never read any other of my interviews. I'm a snooper.

GWS: I don't just profess that I'm a geek. I am a geek. Don't be fooled by my high-functioning social skills, hygienic habits, and ability to dress myself.

Quest: You make a distinction between nerds and geeks. "Nerds spend inordinate amounts of time with Photoshop and Final Cut Pro to produce stuff that geeks love to consume." What is the be-all-end-all distinction between a nerd v. geek?

GWS: As is the case with most matters, the be-all-end-all distinction is a matter of my opinion.

Nerds are awkward and big-brained. They're the ones who spend countless hours in front of their computers and in their labs, forgoing a social life so that they can invent brilliant stuff for the rest of us. Geeks love the contributions of nerds, because geeks don't have the intelligence or attention span to create these wonderful things themselves.

The guys who did the hard work of building the Xbox 360 are nerds. The ones figuring out all the exploits to Halo 3 are geeks.

Click the hyperlink for PART 2 of this interview

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Interview with Blogger Buddy: "Zuba" of Moomins M.C.: Part 2

If you missed out, click here for Part 1 of this interview.

Quest: Has your accident stopped you from continuing with motorcycling? Have you gotten right back on the horse, or in this case, motorcycle?

Zuba: Yes it has. I told myself right at the start that I wouldn't think about it until I was in a physically fit state to even contemplate the idea. I figured not thinking about it would stop me from tearing my hair out.

Quest: I'm glad that I could help further develop the psychosis, by bringing it up again.

Zuba: Living with one of the blokes who was riding with me when the accident happened, plus still remaining in contact with my motorcycling mates has meant that it's never far from my mind and I have only had positive dreams about it. It's not something I am committing to right now.

Quest: You seem positive about all of this.

Zuba: If I never ride again then I have some awesome memories to look back upon. I also feel like I may have cashed in a lot of my luck chip in this smash. One shouldn't really 'walk away' from an intimate encounter with a 40 tonne truck wearing nothing but a bit of cow and fibreglass and it's not something I would want to go through again.

Quest: So, you've picked up another hobby--photography. How is that working out of you?

Zuba: Really well, actually. Photography is something I have total creative control over. I bought a digital SLR to learn how to operate a proper camera with the idea of using it as a stepping stone to a medium format film camera, which I bought fairly recently. I'm now looking at courses to further my skills and eventually turn it into a professional gig. The learning process has been a lot of fun and is still continuing. I'm at a point now where I can make judgments on camera settings without using a light meter which I am employing in street photography where those skills are so important in being able to get a shot. I love the unpredictability of street photography and the 'hunting' nature of it.

Quest: Physical/Occupational Therapy- physiotherapy -- how is that going?

Zuba:
S L O W
About 90% of it happens in the first 10% of the time and then it just sort of plateaus out. I'm down to one half day a week now. It's still intense and painful and incredibly tedious. I still struggle with motivation but keep telling myself that it's a necessary part of my road to recovery.

Quest: You seem to live life in the fast lane. Risk-taking seems to be the norm. Am I correct in that assessment? Would I be accurate in saying you have a "need for speed?"

Zuba: Risk taking is definitely part of my life. Not so much for the sake of risk, more for the personal challenge. In reality, you risk things every day. Crossing the road is risky even for the able-bodied. Choosing to walk down a particular side of the street at night can be risky. Some people's ideal of risk can be other people's idea of norm. It comes down to subjective opinions, personal experience, and knowledge. You have to know yourself before you can make a decision involving risk. As for speed, we all get some sort of a buzz out of it don't we? I used to be involved in rallying when I was younger, never as a driver but as a navigator, official, service mechanic. It was a lot of fun but you have to prioritise things in your life.

Since the accident, have you quenched this need?

Zuba: Maybe, but I still get a buzz out of driving a tasty winding road, even if it's within the speed limit. I just don't slow down that much for the corners. More of an exercise in fluidity and feeling the machine work the road. Not everyone can comprehend that, but those who do will slowly nod in understanding.

Before the accident, motorcycles were a big part of your lifestyle. Ass chaps, leather abound... Were you one to wear a helmet? Any other required gear?

Zuba: In Australia helmets are compulsory so yes I did wear one. It saved my head and that little mushy thing inside it. It's quite ironic that 6 months before the smash I won $2000 worth of protective motorbike gear in a competition sponsored by the TAC who are now paying for my medical expenses and income support. I highly rate the use of good quality gear as it can make a huge difference in those times when you actually need it. I don't rate arseless leather chaps. So wrong!!!

Quest: Are the cops/troopers your enemy on the road? Do you avoid the fuzz?

Zuba: Nah, not really. They have a job to do and like anyone else they are people too. Some are complete tools and others not. Luck of the draw really.

Quest: Do you and your motorcycle gang invade nearby towns and villages? Are you a part of any gang?

Zuba: Never been a part of a gang. I've ridden through many towns with my mates though. Does that count? Moomins M.C. is the closest to a gang really and that was only fictional.

Quest: Is there motorcycle etiquette that we as drivers should know about? What about amongst other motorcyclists?

Zuba: Probably the best thing one could do to motorcyclists is to be aware of them. That goes for motorists and pedestrians as both can cause a collision. We tend to look out for big things that can harm us like cars, buses, trucks. Bicycles and motorbikes go unnoticed, especially when you're driving your SUV with your phone glued to your ear. Generally speaking motorcyclists are a friendly bunch who will help each other out. Except for the poser types.

Quest: Now what is this about haggling and Jews and Americans? You mention something about J.A.P.s, Jewish American Princesses, in your June post. You say, "not to sound racist, but...." you go on to make a very bigoted statement. Explain yourself.

Zuba: I looked back at that post and to be quite honest it was a bad segue from one story to another. I don't think it was racist although it may have come off that way. Anyone who knows me will testify that I don't have a racist bone in my body. The reference to 'Jewish Princess' was more about the spoilt nature of the little beastie rather than her cultural / religious background. Let's face it, any western tourist trying to screw a couple of petty cents out of a developing country's street peddler will naturally breed contempt and trying to haggle with a duty free shop sales assistant is just plain conceited. Any bad behaviour by tourists will naturally breed contempt for their country of origin. Ummm, that's about as explanatory as I can get on that one, make up your own mind.

Quest: You even take a swipe at Americans saying that you understand why people would aim 2 planes into the towers?

Zuba: Maybe a bit harsh. Refer to above answer. I do however believe that due to the U.S.A.'s foreign policy over the years it's not a total surprise. One could draw a start line in 1898 when the U.S. declared war with Spain over a false claim that the Spaniards destroyed the U.S. ship Maine, which enabled the U.S. to occupy Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines.

"There is no room for any outside influence other than ours in this region. We could not tolerate such a thing without incurring grave risks... Until now Central America has always understood that governments which we recognize and support stay in power, while those which we do not recognize and support fall. It is difficult to see how we can afford to be defeated."
--Undersecretary of State Robert Olds (referring to the establishment of a military academy in Nicaragua in 1929)

Saddam Hussein? One minute he's a friend then the next a foe. I don't blame the people of the U.S. more its governments and lobby groups. Don't even get me started on Baby Bush and his buddies. Did I just dig a deeper hole?

Quest: Yeah, but nothing you haven't dug yourself out of before.

Click here for Part 3.



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Interview with Blogger Buddy: "Zuba" of MooMins M.C.

This story begins waaaayyyy back... months back... back before you can remember... before you were brought into this world. (Well, maybe not that far back.)

Chris, not to be confused with Chris of East Village Idiot, I met early on in my blogging career. He was really interested in my Metabigotry post and I guess it inspired him so much that mentioned it in his blog. (Awww, I'm so honored.)

And so I felt the need to throw a nod his way and interview my blogger buddy, from "the land down under", Chris "Zuba" Kaszubski, Moomins, M.C. blog:

Quest: What would you like to be called in the interview?

Zuba: My real name is Chris Kaszubski. Year's ago I was in a band and the blokes had trouble pronouncing my surname so that is where "Zuba" came from.

Quest: And the name "BrokenZuba"? Well, how shall I refer to you?

"BrokenZuba" came from one of my rallying mates in Tassie, a simple thing to write in a get well card. It was so much like him to say that and it meant a lot to me. So, you have a choice there, but most of my mates call me "Zuba."

Quest: Okay, Zuba, explain Moomin.

Zuba: Moomins or (Moomintrolls) are characters in a series of children's books written by Tove Jansson. Moomins are weird little critters that look a bit like hippos if they were capable of walking upright, a sight I would very much like to see just for the amusement factor. Moomins are naturally curious critters and manage to get themselves into all sorts of trouble and adventures as a result, they also hibernate during the cold arctic winter after stuffing themselves on pine needles.

Quest: And how do Moomins relate your blog?

My blog started out as a means of documenting the motorcycle touring trips I used to go on. The idea was to record them for posterity and for mates to share with other mates. If Moomins were into motorcycling they would probably get up to the sort of carry on I used to, hence the name of the blog and the slogan.

Quest: That's cute. So explain, "The Alfred".

Zuba: The Alfred is a hospital in Melbourne Australia renowned for their world leading trauma unit, which is where I ended up as a result of the smash in 2006.

Quest: You mean, you were in an accident? A serious one for that matter!

Zuba: Yes, luckily, I had a team of truly gifted surgeons working on me which has resulted in my keeping the right leg and being able to use it, as well as gaining a couple of pounds in internal metal fixations.

Quest: Wow! I'm glad to see you're okay. Consider yourself lucky. May I ask, how old are you?

Zuba: Ripe old age of 32, what a way to start my 30's eh!? I look at my life before the smash as a sort of dress rehearsal for the rest of my days. There are things I'd learnt about myself as a result which have changed me in a positive manner.

Quest: You currently reside/blog from where?

Zuba: That would be sunny Melbourne in the antipodes! Where people wear black, eat really good food, enjoy an artistically rich life, boil in the summer, freeze in the winter and generally reap the benefits of a fairly salubrious lifestyle.

Quest: Not to poke fun at your recent accident, but if this were a movie, and you got a chance to take a step back and review your life, do you see a comedy of errors theme?

Zuba: I don't know if I would use the term comedy of errors, but there have certainly been plenty of moments to draw comedic inspiration from. There have also been plenty of errors too. For one, the truck driver's error in being on the incorrect side of the road on a blind corner. And my missed diagnosis resulting in my attempts to walk on a fractured hip socket.

Quest: Ew!

Zuba: My roomies had provided some laughs ( in retrospect ) like the one who would insist on giving me a running commentary on his bowel movements.

Quest: Hey, Everybody likes a good d*ck and fart joke.

Zuba: I guess I tried to see the funny side of my run in with the semitrailer. Hey if you can't laugh about it, you might as well just curl up in a corner and pack it in.

Quest: My point exactly, which is why we comedians do what we do--try and spread the laugher! (pause) But you had a serious bout with life and danger. You stated you ended up with: 12 broken bones, a free helicopter ride to the hospital, and a year's supply of morphine. Anything else we missed out on? (By the way, in the States, that helicopter ride wouldn't have been free.)

Zuba: Well, there were indeed 12 bones fractured, but only one had a single clean fracture. The rest were multiples ranging from spiral to compound fractures. The lower right leg, upper left and right leg, a couple of knuckles, wrist, two forearm bones, collar bone and pelvis--pretty much every corner.

I was lucky to be able to keep my leg. I've received at least 8 pints of blood during the many operations and will probably receive more in the next surgery as it will take over 4 hours to remove most of the metalwork.

The helicopter ride was free as there is a wonderful system in place here which is designed to pay for all medical expenses of road trauma victims regardless of fault. Same goes for the morphine, good stuff eh? That's the majority of it really, there are other things but they pale in significance.

Quest: And then the photos of your injuries--there's nothing funny about that. I have to say that I almost vomited looking at and I've never considered myself a sensitive one. I don't even quake at horror movies or gross out films.

Zuba: Yeah there were some good ones, eh? Some of my mates had similar reactions when they saw me in hospital. I've never seen that many shades of white and green. I am hoping to have clinical photography dept. I will take some shots of the next surgery. Keep a look out for those ones!

Quest:How long did it take for full recovery? How long did it take you to get back on your feet?

Zuba: The recovery is a work in progress. It's been just over 18 months and I'm facing at least 3 more surgical procedures to finalize the medical side. It took 11 months for me to take my first unaided steps and that was only for a few meters, but it meant the world to me.

Quest: I can only imagine. It seems like a series of feats.

Zuba: From lying in in a bed for two months, to being craned out into an electric wheel chair, then getting into a manual one, onto a pair of crutches, then one and finally none has been a painful and challenging experience, but one that has demonstrated to me just how much we take walking for granted.

Quest: You got the use of a set of wheels, right? An electric wheel chair? How was that? What did you learn from that experience?

Zuba: Well, I did get told off for speeding in the hospital. The wheelchair's speed is controlled by joystick. And years of playing with joysticks in my teenage years, along with a natural desire to go fast...well, let's say that I got the hang of it pretty quickly. And the first time I could stand being in the chair for an extended period of time was when I absconded from the ward to visit the pub across from the hospital.

Quest: Being wheelchair bound probably makes your see life from a different angle, after being on your feet for 30 years of your life.

Zuba: The wheel chair experience was enlightening as you really have no idea as to the problems and prejudices faced by people who will never get out of one.

Quest: And you still have crutches that you use?

Zuba: I did find a novel use for my crutches. At a music festival, where I had one of my mates hold onto one as I turned them upside down and put them to use as stilts in order to see over people's heads.

Quest: So at least you're now walking.

Zuba: Though, I still haven't returned to a natural gait. I intend to do some day walks in the bush around November to try and build up strength before the next surgery. Running is out of the question at the moment and kneeling is very painful. But at least I have legs, eh?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Chris "Zuba"'s interview...


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Interview with blogger East Village Idiot (Part 5 of 5)

Quest: So you work in advertising. Do you think the industry affects your sense of humor or perhaps what you blog about?

Chris: I think it restricts what I blog about. I don't specifically blog about what I do. I don't write too much about my worklife. The people I work with know I have a blog and some of them read my blog. I don't want to impose on them, or paint a bad image of myself or my company on my blog.

Quest: What about industry specific? Blogging about the advertising industry?

Chris: I ranted a few weeks ago about an ad that's actually made for one of the clients at our firm. We didn't create the ad. I won't point it out. I don't know if I really should really say this. But I had to say something about it because it was driving me nuts. I take a laymen's perspective of advertising on my blog. I don't necessarily utilize the fact that I have experience in the industry. I'll leave that to the professionals. Like, have you ever read Copyranter?

Quest: Copyranter? No, but I have see ad...ad....?

Chris: AdRants? There's a site called Adrants. The Copyranter--I wouldn't say he's grizzled, but he's definitely a disgruntled copywriter who rants about some of the crap that he sees in advertising. And occasionally stuff he likes, but mostly its stuff he hates.

Quest: What about the AMC original series, Mad Men?

Chris: Oh, I love that show!

Quest: Never seen it. I've only seen the advertisements!

Chris: It's hilarious because it's not too far-fetched to think that the Ad Industry was totally full of sexual harassment and blatantly out in the open at that time. When I was in school, we reading about advertising ---learning about advertising--we read books about what the ad industry was like in the 60s. Doing Liquid lunches. Smoke in your office.
Although I did have one co-worker who smoked in her office.

Quest: Liquid lunches?

Chris: Drinking on the job.

Quest: When did the blogging bug bite? When you came back from Vermont?

Chris: I was blogging while I was still up there. But the purpose was not to blog obsessively. I think it was when I got that first wave of attention--it was like, "BoOM, wow, this is kinda fun. Maybe I should do this more often." That was about a year and a half ago. It just took off from there. I think that was about the time I started posting every single day. And then it became multiple times a day. Usually, I try for twice a day.

Quest: What about weekends?

Chris: Weekends I take off. No one reads on the weekends! I'm serious. If you look at my traffic, there's a little dip every weekend--Saturday and Sunday. I've probably done myself a disservice by not posting anything on weekends. Because even if they are online over the weekend, they probably think, "Oh, he doesn't post anything new." Like I said, I write on the weekends. I store material for the week ahead. I don't post on weekends. Weekends are my down time.I don't need to be obsessed with my blog on weekends. During the week, I'll check my time, statistics. I'll check my email like four or five times a day.

Quest: Why did you start?

Chris: I started to keep my friends updated on what's going on in my life. It was a fluke that it took off and became anything other than that. If you look back at my archives, to the very beginning. It was stuff like, "I went out with my friends for a mutual friend's birthday. Here are some pictures of us falling over."

There were actually very few pictures of me on my blog. The one's that I do have are hard to find. I was never someone who has wanted to be stopped on the street. That hasn't happened although I have run into a fan by accident. And this kind of freaked me out.

I got invited to this party associated with this website. Most of the people who were there were users of the site. I hadn't used the site, but they tried to get me to use the site. So I was sitting around with a bunch of people who were users of the site.

So they said to me, "Why are you here?"

I responded, "I write a blog."

"Oh really? What blog do you writer?"

"The East Village Idiot."

And right after I said that, this one guy at the table jumped out of his seat. "OMG! You're the East Village Idiot!?! I read your blog everyday."

I was like, "Whoa!" That was the moment when I realized that maybe this is something bigger than I thought.


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Interview with blogger East Village Idiot (Part 4 of many)

[To read Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3 of this interview. ]


Quest: So why were you an idiot for moving to Vermont from New York City? It sounds like you had a lot of fun in Vermont.

Chris: Okay, I had fun there, but I came right back to the city. I had to ask myself, "Why did I do this?" And here's why I'm an idiot: I wasted so much money moving up there. I had to buy a car. And then I had to sell the car and take the loss on it. I took a salary cut to move up there to take the job. Because then cost of living is less. "Oh wait! But I have to have a car which will basically reduce my cost of living." So then it ended up being the exactly the same.

Living up there I was pretty much the only person who was 24 years old and single and employed. Cause everyone else moving up there was as a hippie--OMG, The damn dirty hippies-- or a hick.

I think the funniest thing was that I moved to Vermont being a dyed-in-the-wool New England liberal, and left Vermont so frustrated by the crazy hippies there that I definitely became a lot more conservative than I was before I moved up there.

The Hippies were like, "No we don't want this drug store here because drug stores are bad."

I say, "You medicate yourself your way. Let me medicate myself my way."

It was absolutely absurd. It was just bizarre. I rolled my eyes so much there.
And Oh my god everyone drives so slowly up there. On a road where the speed limit's like 55 and they'll travel at 35. It'll be on a two lane road and you're stuck behind them for 20 miles without a passing zone. "OMG I just want to get home!"

Quest: But where are they going? Not everyone is driving to work. There shouldn't be any rush hour traffic.

Chris: Burlington is a pretty condensed city, but the State of Vermont is incredibly rural. Basically, outside of Burlington vermont, it's pretty much like Alabama--in so many ways. Outside of burlington, Vermont is pretty much like alabama only much, much, whiter.

Burlington is frigid. It was so cold during the winter. I used to walk to work because I lived downtown and worked downtown. (It was my small attempt at bringing a piece of New York City with me to Vermont.) So one week we had a string of ridiculously cold days. The high temperature was below zero--the high was below zero.

And then one day, I stepped outside my door and it was sunny and it was clear and there was no wind. It was absolutely beautiful outside. The sun was shining. You could see across the lake--the mountains on the Adirondacks are on the other side. I unzipped coat. I took off my hat. I took off my scarf. I was like, "Oh, this is so great!!"

And so I walk into our office and the receptionist is there. And I turn to her and say, "It's a beautiful day out there today."

She responds cheery, "Yeah, it's 5!"

And she was right. It was five degrees. When it's minus 15 degrees every morning for a week straight, 5 feels warm. It's like it being 20 degrees for a week and then it's 40.

Quest: Wow, that's Canadian weather!

Chris: We were practically in Canada. There are parts of Canada that are further south than Burlington, VT.

Quest: Isn't Montreal nearby?

Chris: Uh huh.

Quest: How close is Montreal?

Chris: About an hour and 15 mins away. It was nice. I used to go up there a lot. Actually I used to shop at IKEA. Here's the problem with going to IKEA in Quebec, specifically.

You see like a little gadget. It's a Swedish name and there's no real description of what it is. Or there's a description, but it's not really clear what you can actually do with this thing. Imagine having all those descriptions in french.

Quest: It's supposed to be bilingual. The national languages are french and english.

Chris: Oh, no! It's barely bilingual. Honestly, if you were driving through some parts of Quebec and your car broke down and you had to pull over and need help. You might not find someone who speaks english. There are certain enclaves in Quebec that are strictly french speaking.

I went to a French-Canadian McDonald's inside a French-Canadian Walmart. It was the two most American things you could ever do in Québec. It was so weird. It was like walking into this alternate dimension, where everything looks the same except it's in French.

As you cross the border, if you have Vermont plates on your car, they're pretty lenient. Occasionally, you have to pop your trunk on the way back.


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Interview with blogger East Village Idiot (Part 3 of many)

[To read Part 1 or Part 2 of this interview. ]

Quest: What is the line of demarcation, in years, where a person can officially say he/she's a New Yorker?

Chris: Well, this is a tough question. I moved to New York right after college and lived here for about a year and a half, left and then came back. So I've been here about 3 and a half years now, total. I'm feeling more and more like one everyday.

I am really bothered by native New Yorkers who say, "If you didn't grow up here you can never be a true New Yorker."

And I say in response, "Excuse me." All right, to a certain extent, yeah. I'll never know what it's like to have gone to high school here or something. But how does that make me less of a New Yorker than you. You're still going through the same experiences that I'm going through on a daily basis. I've put up with it for the 3.5 years. And if you're my age and you went to college and are coming back you've probably been through it for 3.5 years, too! So, I think the whole concept is kind of ridiculous. When you first move to the city and you know nothing about it--that's one thing. I've taken the time and I've definitely passed that learning curve.

Quest: Which is how long?

Chris: I hesitate to put a number on it. (pause) You work to get to know the city. I'm one of those people who will explore the outer regions of Brooklyn and Queens. I will gladly go to the Bronx. I've been to Staten Island. I bet there are many New Yorkers who have never been to Staten Island. I can guarantee you that! Although there are also New Yorkers who truly believe that Staten Island is not a part of New York. I concur because I've been there.

How about this? The day you become a true New Yorker is the day that you're willing to openly berate someone for doing something that frustrates you in public.

Quest: Get out! You've done that?

Chris: Oh, absolutely! I have verbalized my frustration at people before. Actually, it was on the 1st Ave subway station one morning. This girl had a large backpack she was wearing. And she was standing on the platform--the platform was really crowded waiting for the L-train.

This commuter says to her, "It's too crowded for you to be wearing that thing in here!"

She says in response, "If you don't like it, you take a cab!"

He says, "Well, you're the one who has a big bag. You should go and take a cab!"

So I say to the guy, "Why don't you f*ckin' stop judging people and go take a cab"

The girl turns to me and says, "Thank you."

There are days when the frustration level reaches a peak and I can't deal with it anymore. So, I'm going to say something.

On a crowded subway, you know you're not going to get beaten up for voicing your opinion because there are fifty other people around you.

Quest: You seem to have strong sentiments towards the city. Was that always apparent? Were you always a city boy?

Chris: When I was a little kid and even up to the age of twenty, I always said, "I'll never live in New York city. I hate New York city. I hate big cities, in general. You can't even get me to live in downtown Boston."

And now look at a me! I'm living in Manhattan of all places--everything I feared about New York has come to life. It was just an irrational fear. I think it was fear of the unknown. And then I was immediately in love with the city.

Not even the day I moved here, but the day I came here to start looking at apartments. I remember asking myself, "Why did I ever think twice?" And just think, if I hadn't come to that realization, I could be in Boise, Idaho, right now. So I'm grateful for that.

Quest: I'm sure many of your readers are grateful, too! (pause) But what about New York city makes people stay? There's definitely a camaraderie I think is apparent that most tourists miss out on.

Chris: Yeah, definitely. The thing about New York that the denizens get to experience is the community aspect of it all. People look after each other here. Just a month into my moving into the city, was the blackout in August 2003. Things in New York were kinda crazy. Everyone was kinda freaking out a little bit.

I helped this girl who was completely lost. She was in a tizzy when she approached me and lists off her predicament: "The subways aren't running. I can't catch a cab. I don't know how I'm going to get home."

So I said, "Walk with me. You're walking in the right direction."
I got to my apartment, went upstairs got her a map, gave it her, and highlighted the route for her to get home.

The second act of kindness during the blackout I witnessed was where this guy had a fainted on the Queensboro bridge. (I walked over the Queensboro to get back to Brooklyn, which seems counter productive but I was living in Greenpoint then. It wasn't that far out of the way.)

So this guy passed out on the bridge. And everyone was freaking out. It's literally in the middle of the bridge. There was no way we could carry him all the way across the bridge. There were cars on the bridge, but they weren't moving because they were just enveloped with pedestrians, who were also walking across the bridge. So twenty people flagged down a Fed-Ex truck, cleared the way, put the guy on the truck, ran down the bridge alongside the truck, moving people aside to get the truck across the bridge. New Yorkers actually looking out for others in times of crisis? It happens.

Quest: So what's the connection to Vermont?

Chris: This is a funny story. Here's the theme: I'm an idiot.

Quest: ...as it says in your title of your blog.

Chris: Except it's not just the title of my blog. Here's what happened: When I was living in New York. It was a really hot summer, the second summer I lived here. I was like, "I can't stand the heat. I can't stand the crowds. I can't stand this city anymore. I have to get out!!!"

Quest: You had a breakdown.

Chris: I just had a complete breakdown. I'm just like, "I cannot deal with this anymore. I hate slow pedestrians. I hate how stuffy the subway is. Bad example, but I was like, "I hate waiting 25 mins for the G train." (That was my own damned fault for deciding to live in Greenpoint.)

So I was like, "That's it--I'm moving!" I took a job at an ad agency in Burlington, Vermont and moved up there. I lived up there for two winters. Skiied the heck out of those winters--had probably the greatest summer of my life. You remember the Seinfeld episode, The Summer of George? The summer I lived up there was The Summer of Chris. I was on a boat every weekend, out on the lake or hiking, kayaking. I was swimming in swimming holes...

And then I realized: "I am sooo bored up here."

Think about it. There 40,000 people living in Burlington, VT.

And then there are 40,000 people living in a 10 block radius of this pizza place. There are 40,000 people in Burlington and it's the largest city in the state!!!

I realized that I have to come back to the city.

[ Part 4 of this interview can be found here


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Interview with blogger East Village Idiot (Part 2 of many)

[To read Part 1 of this interview.]

Quest: How do you feel about anonymous comments v. fellow blogger's comments v. regulating comments v. commenting in general?

Chris: I have to say that Gawker commenters are--I hate to say this because I am a commenter on Gawker--but they're the scum of the earth.

Quest: I didn't realize you had a specific "most hated" commenter. So you mean, Gothamist and all those guys?

Chris: Oh, yeah. If you're commenting on a blog, unless you're a fan of what you're reading, you're probably commenting because you don't like what you've read. I had a string of two posts last summer that were both linked by Gawker over a span of 2-3 days. People threw insults my way. People called me a rapist and a womanizer. I'm like, "What!?!"

So I guess the old adage is true: "Anyone can say anything on the internet."

I'll let anyone say whatever they want on my blog as long it's within reason. If it's completely and totally offensive, then I will go in and delete a comment. Luckily, that's only happened once or twice. It's a democracy.

I don't ever moderate my comments, but I do have a spam filter. And sometimes things that aren't spam, end up in my spam filter. Someone will tell me, "I posted a comment and you won't let it go up." And then it's followed by a nasty email. I get blamed for it, but honestly I didn't even know. I'll go to my spam filter and there will be three comments from people waiting to be approved. So fair warning to commenters: There are certain words that someone might use which will trigger the filter. You just have to be aware and be patient.

Quest: I was thinking of switching over to Wordpress. You're using Wordpress, right?

Chris: Yes. You can do more, but you can do less with Wordpress, too. It's very restrictive in terms of templates and they don't allow flash or anything on the site. It really restricts what you can do. Today I had a post from CollegeHumor.com and it's because of that restriction that just a couple weeks ago, I migrated to a new server--just so that I could use flash again. Wordpress, if you host it on your own server, is a lot more flexible.

Quest: If you're hosted somewhere else, then it's more flexible.

Chris: Right.

I was so blown away by the tech stuff. I'm not a technical person at all. When I had to move all my stuff over to a server, it became a nightmare. I spent 12 hours on a beautiful Saturday sitting in front my computer all day trying to figure it all out. All these code words and everything--The "php" dot file. I don't trust myself messing with files when I don't know what they control.

Quest: What do you use, Mac or PC?

Chris: I have a Mac. Although, if I'm posting at work, I'm posting on a PC.

Quest: Do you consider yourself funny?

Chris: I don't think of myself of as funny. I think it would be really cocky to say that I'm funny. I thrive on feedback. And when I don't receive any, I begin to get nervous. Last week was a prime example: Summer's over and there's work on the table for everyone. And suddenly every one stopped commenting. I put a post up saying, 'What the hell guys? You're not giving me any feedback at all.' And then people started commenting are even moreso, which was good.

Quest: You actually posted, 'Why aren't you commenting?', to your readers?

Chris: Yes, and it worked.

Quest: So were you a class clown in school?

Chris: OMG, I was the biggest recluse in school. In school, I was the quiet one. No one expects that now. I did a total about-face. I was funny-looking, but I was never actually funny growing up as a kid. In my earlier years, I was totally an attention-whore. I will gladly admit this. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a game show host when I grew up. I would have my grandparents as contestants. I would ask them questions about my favorite cartoons. And they wouldn't know the answers and they would lose. I would get fed up with them and throw things at them. I was a really vindictive game show host! I was one sexual harassment suit away from being the next Bob Barker.

Quest: Niiiiiice.

Chris: I actually have two friends who won the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right.

Quest: Whoa!

Chris: I mean, won it all!

Quest: Aren't they taxed when they win?

Chris: Oh, yeah! They all had to shovel out ridiculous amounts of money in taxes, just to get their prizes. So you actually don't want to win it all on The Price is Right. Winning cash is one thing because they can just take it out--they can just garnish the cash. But with prizes it's different.

Quest: Why?

Chris: If you a win a prize, for example: if you win a car, you can't just saw the car into two pieces and give the government 52% of it.

Quest: Why not just sell it?

Chris: But, you have to pay the taxes just to receive it.

Quest: No wonder people were so pissed about the Oprah car giveaway. I would opt for Jeopardy any day.

Chris: Yeah. (pause) I once was a contestant on Cash Cab.

Quest: Really?! How did that turn out?

Chris: We ended up losing it all before we got to our destination.

Quest: Bummer. Sorry to hear that. But Ben Bailey is a mad genius of a comedian.

Chris: Yes!! Ben Bailey is a sorely underrated! People don't realize how terribly funny he is. You spend 45 laugh out loud minutes in the cab with him, and you only get to see a snippet of his personality edited into 7 min.

Quest: Do you think you have to develop sense of humor to live in NY in order to survive?

Chris: Oh, absolutely! I think if I didn't have a sense of humor about the things that I see in the city on a daily basis and the things that I deal with on a daily basis here, I would be a miserable person.

We're sharing so much of our personal space. There are people that live out in suburban midwestern cities that never come within 3 feet of someone in a given day. And here we are stuffing ourselves into a subway train, giving each other our six inches of personal space.

Quest: Is that humor or couldn't that be misconstrued as just plain patience?

Chris: I don't think that it's patience because no one in NY is patient. Let's be honest. We're always in a rush to get to our destination. I admit, I have Pedestrian Rage. Just like most people have Road Rage while driving, I have Pedestrian Rage. We have to replace it with something. It fills that little void that we left behind when I sold my car. There's no way you could get by if you didn't just roll your eyes and kind of chuckle to yourself this person in front of me is plodding down the stairs really slowly. One on the local and one on the express track. And I just put up my arms. You get frustrated but you just have to brush it off.

[ The continuation, Part 3, of this interview you can find here. ]



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Interview with blogger East Village Idiot (Part 1 of many)

I got a chance to interview the coolest blogger this side of 14th street and 3rd Ave. His name is Chris, of the blog East Village Idiot. And some surprising things popped up during this interview!

Believe it or not there will be a Part Two. (My recording device stopped mid-interview--yeah, super professional of me, right? There was too much to talk about.) Our story begins in a land called "The East Village" at a pizzeria shop near 14th street:

Quest: So you originally grew up where?

Chris: In the smallest state with the longest name, Rhode Island; the official state name is the "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations."

Quest: In your "About" section, on your blog, you state your point of the blog is, "To ramble incoherently about the world around us. And occasionally, make people laugh in the process." So right off the bat, you have an immediate connection to comedy. Care to elaborate?

Chris: I always thought of myself as less of a comedian and more of humorist. I think there's a distinct difference between being a comedian and being a humorist. A humorist is funny on paper. A lot of my friends say, 'You're horribly unfunny in person. You're really funny on your blog. Why can't you be that funny in person?' I think my tone comes across better in writing than it does verbally. People can interpret [my writing] in different ways. I think I'm very sarcastic. I don't know if that necessarily comes across. The ambiguity actually works to my advantage.

I remember I wrote a piece when the "Don Imus thing" happened. It was titled "Five quotes from other radio personalities." [These quotes were] some really offensive things that famous radio personalities like Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, and Neal Boortz had said. These guys are all whack-o far right radio talk-show hosts. They're carried on ten times more stations than Don Imus is and they're still employed. I just put the quotes up. I put no commentary behind it all. Probably about 100,000 people visited my blog just for that post. It was on Digg.com and several other social bookmarking sites. Plus, there were about 70-80 people who actually commented on the blog.

The responses varied from:

"Oh yeah, I totally agree with you. These people should be fired."

to

"Oh, yeah I totally agree with you. Don Imus shouldn't have been fired."

I didn't make a judgment one way or the other. It wasn't meant to be funny, but it served to vent my frustrations at the time. That happens on occasion: I'll have a post that's not meant to be funny at all, but instead though-provoking. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does sometimes [as a blogger] you get more attention.

[To see the quotes that Chris refers to, see this [link to A.B.W's blog]

I always ask myself. Why are people keep coming back and reading? I must be doing something right. It's really strange, too. I received an IM the other day from a reader. She started with, 'My friends and I were debating something on your blog.' Now I'm thinking about how odd this situation is. Let's put this in perspective: This total stranger is talking with her other friends, who are also total strangers, about something that I wrote. Two years of blogging and it still hasn't processed in my mind that people do [add my blog posts into their daily conversation.] People actually consider what I say. I never meant for it to get to the point that it has. I am very appreciative of the fact that it has gotten to this point. It was just meant to be tongue-in-cheek stuff for my friends to read. And then all of a sudden it blew up!

Quest: What was the date your blog 'blew up'? What's the timeline from 'beginning blogger' to 'blogger phenom'? Explain how it worked for you.

Chris: The first six months you have no audience. If you keep up your consistency, if you keep being funny, and you keep putting effort into it, it'll pay off.

The post that got me off the ground (and I always credit my friend for this) came out of the blue. My friend who lives in Washington D.C. called me drunk at midnight on a weeknight. She says to me, "My friend is driving and we're lost." I say, "Okay where are you?" She communicated where they were. So I told her, 'No, you're going the wrong way. You need to turn around.' After this whole conversation took place, I mapped it out on a map to emphasize the fact that they double-backed twice and then drove halfway the other way across town. And the website, Wonkette picked it up.

Quest: Wonkette?

Chris: It's a political blog/website owned by Gawker media. It was started by Ana Marie Cox, who works for Time Magazine right now. All of the sudden out of nowhere one day that post got linked. Every now and then I check to see how many people are reading the blog. All of a sudden I go from having 30 of my closest friends reading it once a day to 2,000 people. I remember asking myself, 'Why have 2,000 people visited today? Who are these people?'

Quest: How do you manage to multiple posts in one day? How many ideas? I notice you don't do long drawn out post. At most 200-500 words. You use a lot of pictures/images. What is your M.O. when it comes to your posts?

Chris: Literally, an idea will pop into my head or I'll see something on the street, and I'll say, "I have to blog that!" or "I'm taking a picture! It's going in the blog." My camera phone kinda need an upgrade. The pictures are kinda grainy. But for now, it does the job. Next investment: New camera.

With regards to posts, what I try to do is if I have ideas that aren't timely, I'll store them for a slow day. I post during the day, but I usually don't write during the day. (I'm working during the day, obviously I'm not writing.) Unless, it's something brief that I really want to profile and it's very timely and specific to that day--then during lunchtime I'll throw it up.

Other than that, on Saturdays or Sundays, you'll find me either at my couch at home or at Starbux sitting down for an hour or two pumping out a few ideas.


[ Part 2 is continued in this next post. ]

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Blogger buddy Interview: Raffi of citiZENMINDful

To continue with our series of interviewing fellow bloggers, we caught up with Raffi of citiZENMINDful. He is a So-Cal born and raised Armenian-American with a flair for the arts. He is truly a Renaissance Man in the making. Fluent in three languages and working on being fluent in another, he is a cooking maven, a musician, and a pop culture connoisseur. Oh, and wait, let me not forget. Did I mention he's a medical doctor?!?! And yeah, ladies, he's single!

... i felt i had much growing to do to become the best version of myself....

Quest: Why did you start blogging? When did the blogging bug bite? Why blogging? Why post your thoughts to the public?

Raffi: after reading the book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki, i began a spiritual journey and quest for enlightenment. i actually practice armenian orthodoxy, but felt i had much growing to do to become the best version of myself. i'd had exposure to blogs mostly through myspace, but also through friends who'd post pics, little blurbs, and miscellaneous garbage. i soon found blogging was simply another channel to utilize to obtain and share spiritual meals to grow. it helped me rekindle my spiritual flames, while re-immersing myself in my religious upbringing. with blogging i found there were other sites with similar m.o.'s and themes and we encouraged each other and improved the blog environment bit by bit for the time. through prolific posts, a blog gains an identity of its own and others become aware of your personality, quirks, and even your current life situation. it's almost a peek into someone's diary or daily journal (not that i'd ever keep one ;), which allows complete strangers to get to know you and the thoughts that make your being. even with the anonymity, one can almost deduce through experience what each bloggers "blackbox" formula will result in when given an input.

... life is already serious enough. we all need a place to let go and be ourselves....

Quest: Give us the background behind the name of your blog. Why did you choose that particular name?

Raffi: the book i mentioned above contained the word 'zen mind', so i added the prefix 'citi-' and suffix '-ful' and whallah... citiZENMINDful was born. often, i refer to myself as "this citiZEN" and hope to have other citiZENs across the world.

Quest: Give us the background behind the name, "Raffi." Why did you choose that name?

Raffi: I didn't. That's my name...Raffi.

Quest: Oh. Okay. (pause) The first post always seems to be the defining moment of any blog. Your blog mentions a lot of New Agey hoopla. Explain that.

Raffi: my "sacrificial blog virgin" post numero uno can be summed up to the disclaimer that 'i'm doing this for myself'. i mention i have no interest in others' interpretation and/or opinions of my bloggage. today, that is not completely true, but i do write whatever i feel is important to me for the time being. my first post also refers to Bruce Lee and his legendary quote, "having no way as the way, having no limitation as your limitation"... the ultimate dualistic existence. that encompasses the general gist of my blog agenda: open/closed to anything/nothing/"other-thing". it may sound transcendental, existential, etc. but in the end it's just about being open-minded, genuine, and innovative.

...laughter is medicine....

Quest: So you're a California native blogging in NYC? Plus, you're a doctor! What do you plan on contributing to the blogosphere?

Raffi: diversity, enlightenment, and entertainment

Quest: As much as you speak/write about your spiritual goals, your blog also has a comedic bend. Do you think you're funny?

Raffi: think? i don't think.... i know :) as i mentioned, my blog initially addressed spirituality with a zen spin. however, i always believed in being myself and as i began commenting on others blogs and cranked out my tasteful/distasteful cool/crude comedy/sarcasm, people started realizing that i wasn't some monk or spirit zealot. life is already serious enough. we all need a place to let go and be ourselves. soon my posts began embarking on more diverse paths and evolved to its current flavor, contributing to my overall blog personality... my real one.

Quest: Were you the one crackin' jokes in medical school? College? High school?

Raffi: always. always. always. of course, with a little help by my friends.

Quest: Were you the class clown?

Raffi: not THE clown, but i did occasionally participate in the role.

Quest: Does comedy play a role in your life, especially now working in the dire straits that is typical in the hospital environment?

Raffi: like i said, life is already serious enough, so i can't always take myself seriously. i enjoy the good laugh. i've always been intrigued by wit.

Quest: You mention karma quite a bit on your blog. What goes around, comes around, etc. Do you think comedy has anything to do with karma?

Raffi: i'm assuming you're referring to talking isht on stage coming back to haunt you? if so, comedy is a dynamic all its own. but for the most part, i feel karma is fed into through intention. if you intend to put people down to hurt them, it is likely one day that will come back to bite you in the a$$.

Quest: Clearly you have a dark side, but you don't let that overtake you. Where's the humor in that?

Raffi: dark side? are you referring to my stormtrooper suit? :) sometimes i get frustrated with the most trivial of things or the world for that matter. when i vent these baffling and mind-wretching thoughts and feelings onto a digital canvas, i feel better. plus the comments make it all the more interesting. overall i'm a good person with a good heart. i'd never do anything deliberately to hurt anyone. i guess that's why i chose to pursue my profession.

... i'm straight sexy....

Quest: I sense a little bit of tension in your blog. Perhaps a massage will do? Would you say that you're an angry bloke?

Raffi: are you offering? i'm a sucker for massages. anger is normal, rage is abnormal. i feel it's normal to be able to express your feelings openly. it's unhealthy to mask them and display the watered-down version for the public. this is not to say i'm an angry person. most people characterize me as laidback and real.

Quest: You mentioned this previously in your blog, but would you mind recounting the eerie story of your encounter with the older indian gentleman who approached you while you were sauntering in the Bronx? Looking back on that, what do you think you learned from that encounter?

Raffi: the eyes are the portals to our soul. i see [the indian gentleman] from time to time, but i think he's a little out there. however, that encounter gives me chills to this day. because [on that particular day] i really was working on my spirit skills and this man picked up on them as if he were the detector for such phenomena. weird!

Quest: You have a quote on your blog, "when i play music, time ceases to exist, thoughts are let free, and i feel truly at peace. i've been told that is "being in the moment". Could you say the same thing about, say, a good laugh or good conversation?

Raffi: absolutely. when engaged in any activity, may it be playing music or sports, eating, having sex, working (when totally involved), etc. and, yes, even a deep conversation or laugh. i mentioned this once in a post: remember as a teenager talking on the phone for like four hours to a friend (usually the opposite sex) and when asked by a parent what we spoke about for four hours, we reply "nothing". our being is usually completely committed to the task at hand and very little will interfere with the main focus. this is the act of being in the moment. being spiritually connected, for me, means being able to live in such a frame of time. i feel that is one of the values of comedy, it allows us to disconnect from the grind of life and to indulge in happiness and laughter. this can only help tone down the negative in our lives.

...for me, karma is based on intention.....

Quest: You mentioned in another post, "it goes without saying, if you can't say it nice, don't say it at all." I guess most people might actually say it, via standup comedy, letting out all their dirty laundry on stage. Do you think karma will play a role in a standup comedian's life, paying particular attention to what they let rip/let go on stage?

Raffi: for me, karma is based on intention. comedy can be tongue-n-cheek, but can also be done in a vindictive and hurtful manner. the latter deserves a fat smack of karma.

Quest: But then you say later on in the blog, "as long as it comes forth from the heart with truth, integrity, and virtue, we will be talking and walking in simultaneous harmony." So really if a comedian is true to their heart, they can't be punished for what they say on stage. What say you, Raffi?

Raffi: i think we all have to be true to ourselves. again, i think the intention/karma rule applies. like when michael richards (cosmo kramer) got crazy on stage, that was outta line. that's spiteful, hateful, evil speak, not comedy.

Quest: You seem to have some residual performance skills. Have you ever played live? Have you ever considered standup comedy?

Raffi: played live music, biggest crowd 200+. i've done various mc gigs. i'm very comfortable in front of crowds. never done comedy, but never say never ;)

Quest: You're really quite a naturist, hiking, watching what you eat? That's not funny at all.

Raffi: simply, "you are what you eat." seriously, you are. every cell in your body is synthesized from the products you put in your body.

Quest: Do you really own that StormTrooper suit from Star Wars? Is that you wearing it?

Raffi: what kinda question is that? of course it's me... not.

Quest: How long does it take you to compose a song? Lyrics? Music?

Raffi: music is very quick. i currently have 11 songs requiring lyrical augmentation. writing lyrics is the hardest part, even if a melody is figured out. funny that i can't come up with lyrics yet i can foam at the mouth while blogging.

Quest: Do you like to laugh?

Raffi: laughter is medicine

Quest: You have even inspired my post on the dreaded "laugh-too-much'er". Would you say denying someone from laughing is denying their true soul, even if it is halfway annoying?

Raffi: denying someone to laugh is cruel. but there is a certain etiquette involved in laughter. those super loud, obnoxious laughers, especially those that laugh inappropriately, should be shot up with some haldol. annoying laughter is okay as long as it doesn't violate the esoteric etiquette for laughter.

Quest: You currently post on two blogs: Vary Video and citiZENMINDful. Why do you need the two? The video blog (vblog) serves what purpose?

Raffi: embedding videos on my citiZEN site slows it down, so i created vary video. vary video is simply videos from various sources (other bloggers, emails, youtube, random, etc.) that caught my attention beyond what i consider common or usual.

Quest: You have a significant numbers of commenters in the 4 months time you've been blogging. What's your secret?

Raffi: i'm straight sexy

Quest: You say, "this citiZEN's mission every moment in life is to be the best version of myself" What part of yourself are you at this very moment?

Raffi: i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be. i strive everyday to work on my flaws and be a good person, aka the best version of myself.


Catch Raffi at either one of his two blogs:

citiZENMINDful: http://raffi5000.blogspot.com/

Vary Video: http://varyvideo.blogspot.com/

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Blogger buddy Interview: SassyAssy

Comedy, so far, has treated me well. And I am ever-fortunate for this blog. Not only has it given me the opportunity to actively share my comedic thoughts and goals with readers, but it has also allowed me to meet and interact with new blogger friends. Over the past few weeks, some of my blogger buddies have agreed to be interviewed about themselves and their blogs, and ideally how comedy plays a role in either or both.

This is the first of many interviews to come. Today we get a chance to chat with SassyAssy of the blog, A Glitter Whore Goes Shopping. (Yeah, what a daring name!) Read on to find out more about her:

Quest: Where are you from originally? Born, raised, etc.

I was born in New Jersey, but moved to the south when I was 3. I tend to have a split personality--one for the north and one for the south. It really shows in my accent.

Quest: You said "the south," as in "the southern United States" or "the southern Hemisphere," (i.e. Australia, Antarctica, etc.)

SassyAssy: The Southern United States

Quest: Explain the title of your blog: A Glitter Whore Goes Shopping.

SassyAssy: I worked in retail for a brief while right before I started this blog and I worked with several gay men. They loved my sense of style and would tease me about all my jewelry and girly accessories. They nicknamed me the Glitter Whore.

Quest: What is your profession? What do you do outside of blogging, to pay the bills?

SassyAssy: I am an accountant and entrepreneur to pay the bills.

Quest: When did the blogging bug bite? Why blogging? Why post it to the public?

SassyAssy: The blogging bug hit during the last failing years of my marriage in 2004. I had a friend who blogged and she recommended it as a way to relieve the stress. My ex had violated my privacy by reading my handwritten journal, so I was without that. I assumed an online identity and began to write.

I really did not think about blogging to the public as I never thought anyone but my friend would be interested enough to read it. I developed a small band of loyal readers. Eventually, I stopped writing to my original blog as the marriage went into rapid decline. On the day I moved into my apartment when I separated from the ex, I started up my current blog and I let my loyal readers know.


Quest: In relationships, do you eventually want something serious?

SassyAssy: I am not sure that I will ever marry again, but I do want a serious relationship with the right person.

Quest: Do you feel humor is necessary for a healthy and successful marriage?

SassyAssy: Humor is an essential ingredient for a healthy & successful life period!

Quest: What, to you, does a healthy and successful marriage consist of?

SassyAssy: Good communication, the ability to laugh at ourself and our mate, common interests to share as well not-so-common interests--interests which are independent of one another, to keep it fresh.

Quest: What do you want to see in the next relationship?

Well, I want love (of course) and fidelity and really awesome sex because all three of those things were missing in the marriage. I want someone who supports my career and education goals (I work for myself and I am beginning a Masters program) and someone who loves to travel.


Quest: Now your blog is mainly about your newfound singledom, being a "Sex in the City" type of gal in the south. What do you want to say to your female readers? What are communicating to the men?

SassyAssy: I don't know that I have a singular message to either men or women. I guess the bottom line is a person can survive [a divorce] by starting over. A person can have fun getting back into the dating scene. Life is an adventure to experience-- enjoy it!

Quest: In one of your posts you state, "Mama always said that a sense of humor was worth its weight in gold and thank god I have that in spades!" Care to elaborate on Mama's message?

SassyAssy: My mama said a sense of humor was necessary to keep your sanity--Amen to that!

Quest: You mentioned a dance partner in your very first post and throughout the blog. Dancing seems to be a major part of your life. Why dancing?

SassyAssy: I love to dance for fun. I dance as much as I can and sometimes I dance in ballroom competitions.

Quest: My favorite suggestion on your blog about marriage is Maybe we are not meant to be with just one person...marriage should have the option to be renewed at the end of each year. What are really trying to say about marriage?

SassyAssy: It just seems to me that marriage goes down hill once you get to know someone very well--once you live with them day in and day out. If you could just renew your vows like a lease, I think life would be so much simpler and maybe the marriage would not be taken for granted. I am certainly no expert though.

Quest: I love this quote on your blog, "I love a man who can make me laugh till I cry" Perhaps that's the key-- making sure somehow, somewhere you have comedy in your life.

SassyAssy: Absolutely!!!


Quest: Would you say that you're the funniest of your friends? Do you keep them in stitches?

SassyAssy: Most of my friends have a great sense of humor and I think we take turns being the funniest depending on the circumstances. My friends do say they call me to be cheered up because I do have such a dry, off-the-wall sense of humor. I do keep them in stitches.

Quest: Have you ever considered a career or small stint in standup comedy? I know I keep dropping hints in your comments section on your blog.

SassyAssy: I don't think I could do stand up....I am not sure I would be so humorous on demand.

Quest: Were you a class clown growing up? The life of the party?

SassyAssy: I have been a smart-ass my entire life. Sometimes I am the life of the party, but it really depends on the occasion and whether something strikes me as funny. Once I get on a roll, I can't stop.

Quest: Shopping through the personals for a mate seems a bit daunting, but you handle it with amazing dexterity. Do you recommend online dating? What advice do you have for anyone about to venture into online dating?

SassyAssy: If it weren't for online dating, I would not have gone on a single date in the last year. It is the only place I have met men. I am careful when I arrange to meet them and I always talk to them beforehand to get my comfort level. I also have a "devil-may-care" attitude. I figure you don't know about someone until you meet them face to face. I don't have a lot invested at that point so it doesn't matter if it is a bad date or not.

Quest: So of the many men that answer your ads, what numbers (percentage / ratio-wise) actually make it on a date with you?

SassyAssy: 1 out of 10

Quest: Do you think you need to have a sense of humor to enter the dating scene?

SassyAssy: YES! You cannot take the dating scene too seriously. I think people, especially women, take it too seriously and they end up being bitterly disappointed. I enjoy going on dates because it provides me with humorous stories to tell on my blog. I know the date is a dud if I cannot find a single thing to make fun of afterward.

Quest: On your blog you have a very tongue-in-cheek tribute to the men you dated whom didn't make the cut--"The Graveyard of Men". Explain that.

SassyAssy: I walked out of my apartment last Halloween and the neighbor had set up a mock graveyard as decoration for a party. I took a picture of it for some reason and then decided to make my own graveyard of men. I never use the real name of someone I date on my site. I always have a nickname for each man I go out with. I decided to post their name on a headstone as I kicked them to the curb. It was easier for people to keep up with the sometimes dizzying pace of my dating at a glance.

Quest: Any chance of bringing them back from the dead? Have any resurfaced?

SassyAssy: I have only resurrected one of them back from the dead for a brief blip in time. I won't make that mistake again. Several of them would like second chances, but once I move on, I keep on going. We broke up for a reason. I remember always keep that reason in mind.

Quest: I am disappointed to see that In your list of What you want in a man, "Excellent sense of humor," is only #8 on the list? Number #8?!?! For shame!

SassyAssy: I don't remember that list, but maybe I hadn't reached my quota of mojitos when I wrote it. Some men--no matter how funny--just ain't boyfriend material. One of the graveyard guys (Biker Dude) could make me laugh until I cried, but he just wasn't longterm material. I am guessing I wrote that list right after he broke up with me.

Quest: And good comedic dating stories that you'd like to fill us in on?

SassyAssy: My most recent dating disaster: I met Roberto online and we chatted via IM and phone. He was nice looking and he seemed to have a terrific personality. I drove 1.5 hours to meet him (I live in the south so that is not a long time to drive in southern time). He pulled up in a Jag and he was nice looking and very charming. He told me had a foot fetish as he tried to caress my toes in their sparkly high heels while we sat in Starbucks. I started to get some weird vibes, but despite this I went to dinner with him. When dinner was over I broke the news that I just did not think I wanted to see him again. He was not happy, but he seemed like he accepted this.
A few weeks later I get an IM from him telling me he wants to get to know me. My response: WHAT????

I typed back "Roberto, you already know me. We went on a date. I told you I would not go out with you again and you told me you were never speaking to me again." He typed back "I know you????"

Yeah, I am quite the psycho-magnet...always have been and I believe I always will be. Something about me brings the inner psycho out in men and women. I have been stalked by both. Seems some women really really want to be my best friend and don't take no for an answer.

Quest: Who is the latest squeeze in your life?

SassyAssy: I am currently seeing someone--a biologist. He has been a loyal fan since my first blog and when he broke up with his girlfriend this spring we finally met in person and have been seeing each other ever since. Obviously, I don't spend a lot of time talking about that since it is sooo awkward with him reading every word I type. It does make for some comedy as he is very scientific in his approach to life and I am more artistic in mine. He is very much a loner and I am a party person.

Quest: What activities are currently going on presently in your life? You earned your BBA, (which is the equivalent of a BA in the US). What are you up to next?

SassyAssy: I am very busy getting my 2nd business (also an accounting business but with a partner) off the ground. I just finished my BA in Business (or BBA) and I am getting ready to start my Masters in Forensic Accounting. I will be an accounting detective...I am already envisioning the new tv series: CSI: Accounting.

Thanks to SassyAssy for her riveting yet comedic portrayal of the dating scene in the south. Be sure to check out more of her dating antics on her blog.

SassyAssy blogs at: http://a-glitter-whore-goes-shopping.blogspot.com/

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