The Myth of the Heckler (Part 3 of ?)

[Part 1 of this series can be found here and Part 2 can be found here]

Like a good comedian should, you have been a patient and hospitable host. Up until this point, you've endured two smartass comments from this obnoxious audience member and you can sense that he's not letting up. This fatuous pissant has decided to make tonight the night to satisfy his personal vendetta on you and your dignity.

And out comes the unprovoked comment you were waiting for---comment number three!

Let's put things into perspective: You've worked hard to get here. Hundreds upon hundreds of lame open mics, less than ideal bringer shows, and mildly received guest spots. You've toured. You've traveled. You've worked your way up. And now you're headlining. Finally, you've made your way to this fantastic venue. People have spent money to come see you. That ticket ensures them that they'll see an enthralling fulfilling performance. That ticket ensures that they'll be in the presence of greatness--you. You are the entertainer tonight!

So you're not going to give all that up, are you? To some upstart lame-brain? Have you've practiced, toured, devoted years of your life to this craft, just to be interrupted by some whiny, surly, spoiled troublemaker? You refuse to play "Mr. Nice Comedian," just to appease some soused heckler. You're not going to give the mic up to some person who's only sacrifice was the two drink minimum. Enough of this barracking!!!

By this time, you would have built up your arsenal of "stock lines." So now it's on to, 'Step Three':

- Step Three - Let 'er rip!

Up to this point, you've done your job being a gracious host. You've given him--not one--but two warnings. What else can you do but to "let 'er rip"? He must've saw this coming.

And lucky for you, anything is fair game. You can whip out "The Dozens" and start to make fun of his mother and her cooking. You can rail on his girlfriend, his job, and his life purpose. If you so choose, you can work on your heckler craft so well that he'll leave with a psychological complex. (But I wouldn't go that far. You may end up paying for his health insurance.)

Now, if you want my personal opinion on your 'Step Three' stage rant, then I would at least try to make it entertaining for the audience.

Flying off on a handle, as well-deserved as it might be to the vociferous interlocutor, isn't all that fun for the audience. It sometimes a horror to watch, and takes the audience 'out of it.' The fourth wall inevitably comes toppling down.

Let's explore why adding a little comic flavor is always good in a fight:
Have you ever witnessed a barfight? Or any fight that took place in public? The fact that you even got a chance to witness it in the first place is already humorous. Sometime during the tussle you have to remind yourself that this is real life and that you're not at home on the couch. And being the masochist you are, post-scuffle, you raise your hands to the sky and thank your lucky stars that you were given the opportunity to witness it, secretly wishing (perhaps even going so far as to throw in another prayer) that you can witness another soon.

But do you remember watching a fight where one of the participants threw in a couple japes and jokes in between swings? It made for a much more enjoyable experience, at least on your end, as an member of the gathering crowd. Those cutting remarks also made the opponent that much angrier because the jokes were at his expense, which of course threw off his punches--because he was fighting out of anger.

This same theory applies to the annihilation of the heckler. Make it fun for the audience. Adding a little humor, which shouldn't be hard because that's your job, is guaranteed to make it more memorable and solidify your already popular persona amongst your fans. You'll gain a lot more respect and look good in the process. It's good PR. And you'll be less likely to end your entertainment career. Unlike like what happened to Michael Richards, (R.I.P. July 24, 1949 - Nov 16, 2006 God rest his soul).

[Sidenote to clean comics: If you're not a blue comic, I advise you to remain clean in your 'Step Three' diatribe. Because if there are members of your audience that are in attendance solely because you are a clean comedian (remember there are so few out there), not only do you risk losing them as audience members, but also as fans. Because now you've shown your true colors. You're not as clean and prime and proper as they once imagined you were. You've now sullied your image. So I would advise a clean set of comebacks for those more verbally sensitive audiences members. For example, you can do what Seinfeld does in this clip at about 1:00 min. It's not the greatest example of a complete heckle, but he incorporates it into a joke.]

[To be continued... Yes, there's more!]



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