You da man!

As a comedian, you have to know yourself. Know your movements. Know your voice. As a performer, comedy becomes a study of yourself. It becomes a narcissist's trade--not at bad as actors, but pretty damn close.

...I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...

My problem is that I don't fawn over myself in the mirror. You'll never catch me checking out my reflection as I walk past a store front. The thought never occurs to me.

You're thinking: Lucy, what about if there is spinach in your teeth? Or fresh gooey brain nuggets protruding from your skull? What do you do then?

My answer is: Like Blanche DuBois, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

And don't worry! I reciprocate! Even if I've known you for less than 5 secs, I'm the first to tell you that you have falafel residue on your cheek. I think it's only fair. Because I always follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated. That's gospel to me!

The latest bit I'm hearing from comedians is that they record their performances to gain further information about themselves. One comedian told me that he never knew he swayed side-to-side before he saw himself on tape. Good to know, right? With that information, he quickly edited 'the sway' out of his performances.

In this trade, you end up studying yourself, much like sports teams watch their gameday videos. You need to video tape yourself to watch what you look like on stage. You will learn so much just by watching your performances. You notice if you're a swayer, a pacer, a hide-behind-the-mic'er, a gaze-down-at-the-floor'er, or a look-out-at-the-audience'er (which is the best problem to have). You hear how many 'um's, 'uh's, 'ah's there are in your act. You gain a ton of information, you adjust your nuances and your performance, and ultimately you grow as a comedian.

The one thing I've learned in my performances is that you have to be okay with silence. It's okay to have time and space between your jokes. It's okay to use that precious pause in between (and sometimes during) jokes. That silence builds confidence. You know all eyes are on you. I've been told time and time again, you need to own the stage. Not only do you own the stage, but you also have rented that microphone, and for that time being, you occupy that space. (Until the landlord gives you light and then you have to vacate!) Don't let the audience taunt you. Don't let the people offstage (managers, bookers, other comics, etc.) freak you out. You have to get into your head that you are "da man" (no offense, ladies).

I heard about one comedian who purposely paced the stage---giant, giant steps. He would walk the perimeter of the stage and take his time before each joke. Each joke, of course, was a zinger and it killed. But in between each joke, he took about 15-30 secs. 30 seconds?!? That's a lifetime! (You can especially relate to this if you've ever been on stage or made a speech!) Imagine this guy just pacing--just walking, like he owned the stage--owned the performance. Of course, this guy was a huge football player type--I think he was black, not that that matters. But maybe it was easy for him to get into that "frame of mind." Whereas I, 137 lbs, post-NYC heatwave, have to learn to "own it."

But maybe being scared isn't so bad. There seems to be a consensus amongst comedians that the best type of comedy stems from when you're scared. When your back is against the wall, you're cornered, and you have to perform in order to get out. That is when true comedy develops.

Maybe that is the transition. Maybe that's the rite of passage. Where you go from scared fledgling to fiery phoenix. And that's why I have this blog--to document the inevitable ascent.

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To Curse or Not to Curse?

Keep your humor clean for long-term success -John Kinde of HumorPower.com

That is the question.

I've realized that I want to curb the use of any bad words in my set and officially stamp myself as a completely clean standup comic. I have two reasons for this:

1) Marketability

"Keep your humor clean for long-term success."

I think Mr. John Kinde of Humorpower.com has it right. I've already noticed that comedians (who aren't even that successful yet) have to start changing their material to fit specific audiences. Comedians will have to do that anyway, because of ancillary gigs. There might be corporate events, or events with kids in the audience, or just plain censoring. As a beginner comedian, it's really easy to start getting paid on the college circuit. And when that starts happening, those very same beginner comedians are receiving lists of what not to say while on stage--sometimes minutes before going on. Who wants to deal with that type of added pressure?

Now some comedians say, "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.." and completely toss the list. And as a comedian you risk alienating your audience or even worse your bookers/GMs/managers/agents and any one else you have to deal with in to book a show--especially if you're not that widely known or established. Sure. Dave Attell can shirk admonishment and fair warning, perform a set complete with cussin', and walk offstage with another job in tow, reputation unscathed. But can Joe Nobody from Wichita afford to lose the publicity and gain bad press?

If your material is already clean, then you won't have any of the headaches. And you can bet when you get a set on any of the late night shows (Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Jay Leno) you're getting ramrodded into doing a clean set--Middle America can't handle anything risqué or off-color.

2) The Challenge

When I first entered the scene, in fact even at my first open mic, all I heard were people swearing left and right. All the jokes were blue.¹ along with a wave of general misogyny, which didn't help motivate me to get on stage, being a woman. To be honest, I almost turned around and left right there and then. At the time, after witnessing that, I thought, "If this is comedy, then this isn't for me."

Is this what comedy really is like?

But I then remembered thinking, this is the side of comedy you won't see on TV. You'll never see the dingy dirty basement humor unless you attend an open mic yourself. There's a reason this kind of comedy will never leave that basement. Not only is it not funny enough to make the real set, but it also alienates the audience.

Audience members want to relate to you, the comedian. They want to be with you, right there next you in the story/joke. If you humor is about killing, raping, maiming anyone, you may be lucky to get one or two laughs. I remember one comedienne friend of mine telling me, "I don't laugh at rape jokes." Rape jokes? Like rape jokes are common category! Geez! (By that time, I was only a month into the scene.)

Seinfeld mentions both of the above reasons as to why he kept his comedy clean. Those and one more reason: Mr. Bill Cosby, who was a huge influence on Seinfeld, along with many others.

So I rest my case. I'm keeping it clean, like in a boxing match--above the belt. My goal is reach everyone, so that everyone can get the message. Isn't that the only way to go?


¹ The term blue comedy or blue humor is comedy that is profane or obscene. You would often hear it uttered in a sentence like, "His comedy is very blue." "She's doing her blue set tonight." [Return]


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Laughing for laughing's sake

Like whoa! -Black Rob

Thanks to RAFFI for this topic. His post on his blog, CitizenMindful,
Laughing my Asinine off is what inspired today's post.

About two weeks ago, I attended The Brooklyn Comedy Company's monthly show, "Shades Of Black: The Breakdown".

I wasn't sure what to expect, so I first took a guess and predicted that I would experience either one of two types of black comedy. (Black as in Afr. American, not to be mistaken for black as in dark comedy.)

Either the:
- Angry black comics (neo-soul, right-fist in the air type of comedy)

or the...

- BET Comicview / Showtime at the Apollo type of comedy.

I was happy to say that I got neither.
To get a better idea of the type of comedy, click here.

Overall, the comedy was pretty good. I would rate it at a 7.5 out of 10. Not laugh out loud, bust a gut--but definitely good!

So I entered the show, at a time that I thought I would be late. (The flyer said 8pm.) Instead, I got there around 9pm, because I had a busy Comedy Run that night. To my benefit, the show had just started. (Thank God for CPT.) Anyway, the show was packed, with a mixed crowd--black and whites, and some blacks with whites (Yep, interracial couples, folks! I'm going to take this moment and quote Black Rob and say, "Like whoa!") Interracial couples front row at a comedy show? (Now, that's takin' some liberties that most would not feel comfortable doing--even in NYC. That's begging to be made fun of*, or at least pointed out.) I think of interracial dating constantly, so much that it became a monomania. (Thank you Free Dictionary.com!)

Okay, so now the show has started, and it's going well. Typically, with all comedy shows, there's a host. The host's role is not to steal the show or anyone's thunder, but to keep things rolling. Some times the host tells mild jokes, minor stories or chats up the audience (crowd work) just to keep the energy light--but nothing hard-hitting. The host is not there to make laugh out loud gut-busting jokes.

That being said, someone should have told the couple in the back row that this was the case. This couple made no bones about laughing at everything the host said. The host would be in the middle of the joke, just about to give the punchline, and this couple would burst out laughing--first started by the woman cackling and the boyfriend filling in where she left off. And it was so disconcerting that even the host stopped her set for a bit and addressed the outrageous couple in the back. And to add some color the picture, the couple was white. (Not all black people are loud and obnoxious, you prejudiced pricks---white people are, too!)

Anyway, it did get to the point of irksome and perhaps even greatly annoying, to the point of members of the audience turning around and glaring, like you would do in a movie theater.

My point is that, as much as we comedians want you to have a good time and laugh, it's very unfunny if you laugh at everything. It throws off our radar. We can't tell what really is funny and what's not. It's also extremely disturbing to not only the joke-tellers, but to the rest of the audience.

So I'm saying, like RAFFI, be mindful. We understand you had too much to drink, but don't ruin it for everyone else.


* There's a theory that the reason why you don't see certain groups/demographics represented a comedy shows are because they're afraid of getting made fun of. For example: Fat people, and Asians. I'm not being racist myself. I'm just repeating conversations that I've had with other comedians. I should be like dragnet: "Just the facts ma'am," but I guess this is closer to hearsay.

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Two kinds of audiences

F

or Comics, there are two types of audiences:
- Comedian audiences
- Regular audiences (a.k.a. "real" audiences)

I had the pleasure of playing to both one Thursday night. Playing to one audience and then the other back to back is like night and day.

Let's describe the first and most likely, the one you are least familiar with: "The Comedian audience"

To be a standup comedian, you must be the least bit cerebral. You probably imagine yourself (and your life) in a vastly different arena from where everyone else sees you and your life--perhaps life in general. It takes a certain kind of angle, aspect, skewed point of view to be able to take everyday ordinary topics and twist them into something no one has ever imagined. Clearly, there is an art to this.

...we thank God everyday that there are more of you than there are of them...

I'm sure writers/authors/journalists/bloggers can relate. When they write, they too are communicating to you from a specific angle. But the methods comedians use, it has to be quick, pithy, witty (ideally) and hopefully can make you laugh.

So think about it: You are now a comedian on stage in front of an audience completely composed of cerebral, over-thinking, over-analyzing bastards. All these goofs are listening to your jokes and DECIDING on whether or not it's funny. They are consciously and unconsciously twisting them in their overworked overanalytical minds--perhaps to maybe to steal the joke later on, re-angle the joke in their favor, or to sit and think about the question, "Is that joke really funny?" The point is, this comedian audience is hard to entertain mainly because they're not there to be entertained. To them they are there to cut, dissect, and tear your jokes apart in their head. Maybe even put it back together in a better niftier form.

It's essentially playing to an audience who is constantly thinking, "How can they make a better mouse trap?"

Can you now see the difference between playing a comedian audience versus playing your regular/real audience?

The satisfaction and accomplishment lies in you, the comedian, being able to make a group of curmudgeonly comedians laugh. If you can get the littlest, smirk, grimace, or hum out of them, then that registers as a roar and applause break¹ in a regular room. There's a proportion that goes into play as well. (Did you think I was going to leave the math analogies behind? But they worked so well, in previous posts!)

A smirk or huff from a comedian audience registers as a cackle, uproarious laughter in a regular audience.

If you haven't figured out by now what a regular/real audience is, it's your non-comedian--the basic everyday, garden variety audience member. (i.e. "You") And we Thank God everyday that there are more of you than there are of them.

¹Applause Break - Regarded as a positive thing in a comedian's performance. Simply a break in his routine interrupted by an audience's applause. [Return]


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Comedy Rules of Etiquette

...don't piss off your fellow comedians...

Comedy Rule of Etiquette #1: The "Host - Comedian - Host relationship".

When attending most any booked show, as an audience member, you may not notice the subtleties that carry on amongst the comedians throughout the show.

For one, "the handing off of the mic," like a baton in a relay. You can't just hand it off when you finish your set and jump off stage. You can, but immediately you're telegraphing to every comic in the room that you're an amateur. (And believe me this is a habit I'm trying to work on.) But you need to think of the mic as a very fragile Fabergé egg. In essence, you, as a comic, need to always hand it off with a lot of soft fluffy pillow in between.

Think of it as filler.

The host introduces you, "Hey, and now for your next comic..." [The audience claps.]
Then the comedian walks up to the stage and gives props to the host, "Give it up for your host..."[The audience claps.]

Pay attention, this is what most amateurs miss!
Then when you finish your set, you re-give it up for your host, "Once again, give it up for your host..."

And your host obliges by showing respect for you by giving the audience your last acknowledgment. "[Comic's name], everybody!" [Again, the audience claps.]

By this time, I'm saying in my head, as an audience member, "Alright, alright already. Enough with the ass-kissing. We get it. You're all great, friendly, and courteous comedians." But actually, I don't think it's fair to say it's ass-kissing. Just space filler.

Just in case you missed that, here's the sped up version, the pattern you'll notice throughout the night at a booked* show:

Host: Give it up for our next comedian!
Comedian #1: Give it up for our host! [Finishes his/her set] Give it up for our host!
Host: [Comedian #1's name], everybody! [Host may or may not tell jokes] Give it up for our next comedian!
Comedian #2: Give it up for our host! [Finishes his/her set] Give it up for our host!
Host: [Comedian #2's name], everybody! [Host may or may not tell jokes] Give it up for our next comedian!

...and so on, and so forth...

What I mean to say about the ass-kissing is that I believe it's a falsified notion. In actuality, I believe it's filling the space in time when no one is speaking. It's like radio. Radio stations don't like any dead-air. But this is all just speculation. I haven't done the research yet. I need to ask hosts why they do it.

I, personally, hate excessive and superfluous clapping--like at awards shows. It could be just plain indolence on my behalf. (I don't like having to do more than necessary.) But again, it fits in with the false compliment post I mentioned early. I may have enjoyed the set. But do I need to clap twice to show my appreciation. And what does my clapping prove?

As a comic, when I approach the stage, I enjoy the silence. It lets me know people are paying attention and it's time for me to get "into the zone."

Ahh, the zone! I miss the zone. I used to enter the zone in basketball, soccer, and other sports in high school. And of course you can do no wrong when you've entered the zone. You're in lockstep with that special vibration in the air. It's like you hit all the electromagnetic waves and they do the work for you. The magic just happens and it flows out of you. I can't wait to do this enough times, where I can "enter the zone" on stage. When it happens, watch out! You'll be hooked!

Rule of Etiquette #2: Watch for the light!
Don't go over the allotted time given to you. More specifically, watch for the light! (Again a habit I have yet to ingrain into my comedy persona.) If you go over your time, the people in line after you, now have to wait even longer (the difference of the time you went over by) to get on stage. This "running over your time" can become extremely irksome if other comics have another show to head off to or have a job they need to get to early next morning. My point is, just be conscious of this. And you can even ask, "How much time do I have?" in the middle of your set just to make sure.

Again, I'm still learning. So to avoid this I always try to be the "headliner," which if you haven't figured out the irony by now is fairly funny to be called at the open mic. In open mics, I ask to be last on the list. That way if I go over, no one really cares because they've already their time on stage.

It's very necessary that you don't piss off your fellow comedians. This also goes for club owners, GMs (general managers), and Hosts, respectively. Hosts may very well be your fellow comedian buddy that was coming up the rankings with you at those many open mics you attended.

Rule of Etiquette #3: Stick around after your set!
Make every effort to stay after your set. Every comedian needs an audience to perform in front of (even if the audience is comprised of other comedians). Note: Comedians typically make the worst audience because they're so cerebral and partly because they're probably not even paying attention to you on stage. (They're probably thinking about their own set.)

But once you head off stage, stick around. Say you can't stick around the entire show, but you do have the flexibility to stay a little bit. Comedy etiquette says "3 comedians after you." What does that mean? Stick around and wait until after 3 comedians after you have performed. Simple is as simple does.

* I mention a booked show versus an open mic, which are two completely different structures all together.

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